As you grow up you learn that relationships can be hard. Why was it so much easier when you were a teenager, when all that mattered was love? These days it feels like everything becomes so practical. Certain thing has to work, the timing has to be right and last but not least you have to be in the same city to make it work.
As soon as I started to travel and leave LA more often, me and my boyfriend’s relationship changed. I can admit that some of it has to do with me. I started to recognize my old self again, the Jennifer that lived and spent most of the time by herself and did and could do whatever she wanted to. There’s not only positive thing about that Jennifer (trust me) but I did realize that I wasn’t ready to give her up.
At this moment, having left LA for the spring, I don’t even know where we stand. All I know is that I’m standing over here in Sweden, ready to hit the dance floor for Let’s Dance 2013 and are very excited for more to come. While he, Nic, is back in LA.
Today, March 21st, is his birthday. When I close my eyes I cant help but look back at last year. When me and my band at the time had a show back in LA and I announced for everyone to raise their glass for him. Nic turned 28.
I’m sad that I cant be there when he’s turing 29. Im sad that things turned out the way they did. I’m sad that I can’t look him in the eyes and tell him happy birthday and that whatever happens, I will always love and care for him. I’m sad that I feel like he doesn’t believe me. Although, I’m glad to see that he’s doing good and I know he’ll be even better. He’s one of a kind. He’s Nicholas Gregory Black.